What Every Parent Wonders (But Rarely Says Out Loud)
If you’ve been lying awake running through everything you could try to help your child feel less anxious, less overwhelmed, less “not themselves” lately — you’re not overreacting. And you’re definitely not alone.
Most parents who come to me don’t arrive because their child is in crisis. They arrive because something has shifted — a bit more withdrawn, a bit more tearful at bedtime, a stomach ache every Sunday night, a reluctance to talk about school that didn’t used to be there. Nothing dramatic. Just enough to notice. Just enough to worry about.
And here’s the part almost no parent says out loud: often, they’re not just worried about their child. They’re worried about themselves too — about whether they’re handling it right, whether they’ve missed something, whether this feeling is somehow familiar.
It’s Often Not Just the Child’s Anxiety in the Room
In my practice, I see this pattern often enough that I want to name it plainly: a parent’s own anxiety is frequently doing just as much work in the room as the child’s.
Sometimes that’s simply the natural worry that comes with loving someone fiercely and not being able to fix things for them. But sometimes it runs deeper — a parent who struggled with their own confidence at school, who remembers what it felt like to be the anxious child nobody quite understood, who is now watching this play out in front of them, thinking history is repeating itself, and feeling that old fear resurface.
If some of this resonates with you, that’s not a failing on your part or a criticism from me. It’s usually a sign of exactly how much you care and want to try to fix things. But it also means that sometimes, the most effective thing isn’t only supporting your child — it’s making sure you’re supported too.
I Understand This as a Parent, Too
I’ll be honest — some of this comes from personal experience, not just professional observation. As a parent, I’ve had my own sleepless nights, both while my daughter was in primary school and again as she moved through secondary — lying awake worrying about friendships, wishing I could spare her from things I knew, deep down, she probably needed to go through. If I’m truly honest, some of that worry likely tapped into a few of my own struggles too, not only hers.
Now, on the other side of some of those harder patches (and what felt at times like punches), I can see how much they’ve contributed to her growth — her confidence, her resilience, parts of who she’s becoming. But in the middle of it, that’s so much harder to see. You second-guess yourself constantly — whether you’re doing too much, too little, or the right kind of anything. And with a teenager now, I know there will be more of these moments ahead, not fewer.
I share this not to make it about me — my daughter’s experiences are hers to tell, not mine — but because I think it matters that this isn’t only professional knowledge for me. It’s something I understand from the inside too, as a parent trying to get it right, one imperfect day at a time.
The Questions I Know You’re Asking (Even If You Haven’t Asked Me Yet)
Over the years, I’ve learned that most parents have the same handful of questions running quietly in the background — questions they don’t always say out loud, sometimes because they feel silly, sometimes because they’re not sure how to phrase them. So let’s answer them here.
“Is this too much of a leap? We haven’t tried anything else yet.”
You don’t need to have exhausted every other option first. Hypnotherapy isn’t a last resort — it’s simply a different, often faster route to the same goal: helping your child feel calm, confident, and like themselves again. Many families come to me precisely because they want to address things early, before a pattern has time to settle in.
“Will my child actually engage with this, or just sit there?”
This is one of the most common quiet worries, and a completely fair one. Sessions with children and teenagers look nothing like sitting still with your eyes closed for an hour. They’re conversational, imaginative, and paced entirely around what feels comfortable for that particular young person — shy or chatty, eight or sixteen. My job is to meet them exactly where they are.
“What if my child doesn’t want to talk about what’s actually bothering them?”
They don’t have to — not directly, and not to me before they’re ready. Part of what makes this approach effective is that it doesn’t rely on a child being able to articulate, out loud, in a room with an adult they’ve just met, exactly what’s wrong. We can work with what’s underneath the surface, gently, without forcing a conversation your child isn’t ready to have.
“Is it normal to feel like I need this too?”
Yes — and it’s more common than you’d think. If you’ve noticed your own anxiety rising alongside your child’s, or you recognise old, familiar feelings resurfacing as you watch them go through something similar to what you once experienced, that’s worth paying attention to. Supporting yourself isn’t separate from supporting them — it’s part of the same picture.
“Will this actually last, or will we be back here in a few months?”
This is exactly why I don’t work in single, one-off sessions with children and teenagers. Thrive Young is a structured, five-session programme, built so that each session builds on the last — aiming for change that holds, not a temporary lift that fades by half-term.
Why This Approach Works the Way It Does
It’s also part of why I approach this work the way I do. Alongside my hypnotherapy training, I spent years working as a talking therapist within the NHS, delivering CBT-based strategies to young people and adults. What I bring to Thrive Young is that grounding in evidence-based talking therapy, combined with advanced training in hypnotherapy — an approach that works at a deeper, more subconscious level, beyond what conscious conversation alone can usually reach.
In my experience, children and teenagers are often even better at engaging with this kind of work than adults are — they’re naturally imaginative, and far less inclined to overthink or resist the process. Bringing both approaches together means we’re not just talking about the anxiety; we’re helping to shift it at the level where it actually lives.
It’s also, I think, part of why I receive so many referrals from parents facing exactly this kind of transition or adjustment. It’s a need I see constantly — and one I don’t think is being met well enough elsewhere.
Sometimes, Supporting Your Child Means Supporting Yourself Too
| A Family Package — For Parents and Children, Together
Because I see so often how closely a parent’s own anxiety and history are tied up with their child’s, I’m now able to offer a combined family package — pairing the Thrive Young programme for your child alongside dedicated sessions for you, addressing your own anxiety around the situation directly. This isn’t about assuming anything is “wrong” with you as a parent. It’s simply an acknowledgement that when a family is going through something together, healing often works best when it happens together too. If this feels relevant to your family, get in touch and I’ll talk you through what a combined package could look like for you. |
If You’ve Read This and Recognised Your Family in It
That’s usually the sign worth listening to. You don’t need to have all the answers today — you just need to take the first small step of reaching out.
Thrive Young is a 5-session programme (60 minutes per session, £340) for children and teenagers navigating anxiety, big transitions, or a loss of confidence. A free 30-minute discovery call is available if you’d rather talk it through before deciding anything.
Learn more or book: workyourpotential.com/thrive-young
Or ask about the Family Package: workyourpotential@gmail.com · 07443 117672